The Art Of Persuasion : How can certain people have such incredible persuasion skills?
Can we all use their abilities? These are the 21 important principles I’ve uncovered to persuading others from studying the most influential political, social, corporate, and religious leaders, as well as trying out many tactics myself.
This is an outline of a talk on “How to Persuade People” that I’ve been giving to thousands of entrepreneurs for a few years. The links below provide more in-depth explanations.
The Art Of Persuasion : The 21 Persuasion Principles
Table of Contents
1. Persuasion is not manipulation –
Manipulation is when someone is coerced into doing something that is not in their best interests.
Persuasion is the art of persuading others to act in their own best interests while also benefiting you.
2. Persuade the Persuadable –
Given the correct timing and circumstances, everyone can be persuaded, although not always in the short term.
Political campaigns concentrate their efforts and resources on a tiny group of swing voters who determine the outcome of elections.
The first stage in persuasion is to identify those persons who are persuadable to your point of view at any particular time and concentrate your efforts and attention on them.
3. Context and Timing –
Context and timing are the fundamental building elements of persuasion.
Context establishes a criterion for what is acceptable. The Stanford Prisoner Experiment, for example, demonstrated that high-achieving students might be trained to be tyrannical jail guards.
What we seek from others and from life is dictated by our timing. Because our desires evolve, we opted to marry a different type of person than we dated when we were younger.
4. You Can’t Persuade Someone Who Isn’t Interested –
You can’t persuade someone who isn’t interested in what you’re saying.
We are all preoccupied with ourselves, and we spend the majority of our time worrying about money, love, or health.
Learning how to continuously talk to people about them is the first art of persuasion; if you can accomplish that, you’ll always have their undivided attention.
5. Reciprocity Compel –
You feel obligated to reciprocate when I do anything for you. It is in our evolutionary DNA to assist one another in order for us to survive as a species.
More significantly, reciprocity can work in your advantage disproportionately.
You can ask for more in return by making tiny gestures of consideration to others, which others will gladly supply. (TIP: read Robert Cialdini’s “Influence”)
6. Persistence Pays Off –
In the end, the individual who is willing to keep asking for what they want and demonstrating value is the most convincing.
So many historical personalities have succeeded in persuading large groups of people by remaining steadfast in their goals and messages.
Consider Abraham Lincoln, who lost his mother, three kids, a sister, and his lover before being elected president of the United States. He also failed in business and lost eight elections.
7. Genuinely compliment –
We are all positively influenced by compliments, and we are more likely to trust those with whom we have favourable feelings.
Try complimenting individuals truly and frequently for things they aren’t generally commended for; it’s the simplest way to persuade others and it only takes a second of thought.
8. Manage Expectations –
A large part of persuasion is managing others’ expectations in order for them to trust your judgement.
The CEO who promises a 20% rise in sales but only gets a 30% increase is rewarded, while the CEO who promises a 40% increase but only gets a 35% increase is punished.
Understanding and exceeding others’ expectations is the essence of persuasion.
9. Don’t Presume –
Never assume what someone requires; instead, constantly provide value.
We often withhold our products/services from others in sales because we feel they don’t have the money or interest.
Don’t make assumptions about what people want or don’t want; instead, deliver what you can and let them make the decision.
10. Create Scarcity –
Aside from the needs of life, practically everything has a monetary worth.
We desire things because they are desired by others. You must make an object scarce if you want someone to want what you have, even if that object is yourself.
11. Create Urgency –
You must be able to create a sense of urgency in others so that they will act quickly.
We are unlikely to find motivation in the future if we are not inspired enough to want anything right now.
We need to persuade people right now, and the most significant card we have is urgency.
12. Images Have More Power Than Words –
What we see has more power than what we hear. When presented against a backdrop of people enjoying a sunset in Hawaii,
it’s possible that this is why pharmaceutical companies are now so open about the potentially devastating side effects of their products.
Make a good first impression. And master the ability to conjure up in others’ imaginations a mental vision of a future experience you can deliver.
13. Tell the truth –
Sometimes the most effective method to persuade someone is to tell them facts about themselves that no one else will.
The most penetrating and profound events in our life are when we have to face the terrible truths.
Tell the truth without judging or having an agenda, and you’ll be surprised at how others respond.
14. Establish Rapport –
We like people who are similar to us. This extends to our unconscious behaviours as well as our conscious decisions.
You can develop a sense of rapport with others by mirroring and matching their habitual behaviours (body language, cadence, linguistic patterns, etc.).
This will make them feel more at ease with you and more open to your suggestions.
PERSONAL SKILLS PERSONAL SKILLS PERSONAL SKILL
15. Behavioral Flexibility –
The person in charge is the one who has the most flexibility, not necessarily the most power.
Children are typically extremely convincing because they are willing to engage in a variety of actions in order to acquire what they want (pouting, sobbing, bargaining, begging, charming), whereas parents are limited to a single response: “No.
” The more behaviours you have under your belt, the more persuasive you will be.
16. Learn to Transfer Energy –
Some people deplete our energy while others replenish it.
People that are the most persuasive know how to convey their energy to others, motivating and energising others.
Eye contact, physical touch, laughing, excitement in verbal responses, or simply active listening might sometimes enough.
It’s too complicated if you can’t convey your notion or point of view to an 8th grader in such a way that they could explain it to another adult with adequate clarity.
Persuasion is the skill of distilling something down to its essence and communicating to others what they truly care about.
18. Being Well-Prepared Gives You an Edge –
Knowing more about the people and situations around you should always be your starting point.
Effective persuasion requires meticulous preparation. For example, knowing everything there is to know about a company’s products, services, and history will greatly boost your chances in a job interview.
19. In a conflict, detach and remain calm –
Nobody is more successful when they are “on Tilt.” Staying calm, objective, and unemotional will always provide you the best power in high-emotion situations.
In times of turmoil, people look to individuals who can control their emotions and trust them to lead them.
20. Use Anger Purposefully –
Conflict makes most people uncomfortable. Others will often back down if you’re willing to escalate a situation to a high level of tension and confrontation.
Use it cautiously, and don’t do it out of emotion or a lack of self-control. But keep in mind that you can use rage to your benefit.
21. Assurance and Confidence –
There is no trait more fascinating, seductive, or appealing than certainty.
The person with an unfettered feeling of assurance is the one who can always persuade others.
If you truly believe in what you’re doing, you’ll be able to persuade others to do what’s best for them while still gaining what you want.
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